Often times, life will take us a direction we never thought we would go. A direction that may seem wrong, and definitely
feel wrong, at first. I have been taken directions I never even thought existed. Directions that, when I realized the direction I was being taken, have caused me to go kicking and screaming. Today I realized that we really don't have control over things that happen. Sure, sometimes we do. And sometimes we can even control the direction we go, but not always; and sometimes things happen that you never planned for, altering your course completely.
Today is November 19, 2013. If you asked me exactly one year ago today where I would be in one year, I would say without a single doubt I would be on a mission. I was preparing to serve as "Sister Moser" on an 18 month mission for
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. On this day last year, I had a plan. Following the announcement in General Conference from our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, in October of 2012, I had it all planned out. I was going to finish the semester, go home for Christmas and complete my papers, work on being my best, turn in my mission papers ASAP (February 8th), shortly thereafter attend the Temple, leave ASAP (June 8th), serve the Lord with all my heart, might and strength, return from "the best 18 months of my life" in December of 2014, come back to school at BYU, find a strapping young gentleman (BYU has quite the abundance), and so on and so on. Obviously, the plan was fool proof. Right? Ha. Yeah, RIGHT. On this day exactly one year ago , I would have no idea that the upcoming events in the months ahead would completely alter my life in ways I would not be able to comprehend. On this day exactly one year ago, I was running (quite literally, if I might add) out the front door of my dorm to catch the plane that was taking me home for the week of Thanksgiving. On this day exactly one year ago, I said a quick "Happy Thanksgiving!" and shared a brief hug with my roommate
Madeline Rose for the very last time. On this day exactly one year ago, I saw my dear friend and roommate for the very last time in this life.
Today was hard. I thought a lot about the goals I had around this time last year and the experiences I had. Following the end of the semester, I was still set on following through with my not-so-foolproof-plan. Madie was a big motivator for me to keep moving forward because I knew she would want me to and I knew that I could best honor her through still serving, because that was her next step too. When I received an answer to my prayers that it would not be the right time for me to serve a mission, I was lost. You know when you're sitting in math class and you feel like the teacher may as well be speaking Icelandic? No...? Oh awkward. Well, I'm terrible at math, so for me that's how I felt. I was doing everything I was listening intently and working my hardest but still feeling so lost. Through prayer and (seemingly forced) patience, I sort of figured it out. It took time... A lot of it; but I got back into the swing of things. The only reason this was possible was because I learned through those experiences that our plan is never going to align perfectly with The Lord's plan. His plan is not only right, but is WAY better than anything we could plan for ourselves. I tried to plan and stick to that plan regardless of what The Lord may have wanted me to do. I was so selfish in only wanting to serve and be an instrument in His hands where and when I wanted to. The Lord has different ideas for me. He let me know my plan wasn't what His plan was for me and I had to learn that. So even though things happen that alter our course and even though it takes time to come around to the new direction you're being taken, even through all the kicking and screaming, the direction The Lord takes you will be the most sure route to happiness. Don't try to control your plan or your direction, let yourself go where you are needed. Let yourself go where The Lord wants you to go.
