Monday Thoughts

Today is my last Monday as a (engaged yet) single woman. Right now I live with roommates, other girls. After Saturday, I will have one roommate and he will be my husband.

Weird doesn't begin to cover it.

I am so so so excited, don't you worry. But just because my excitement consumes me and might as well be gushing out of my ears... It is still a foreign thing.

I won't be McKenzie Moser anymore. I will be McKenzie White... Well, McKenzie Moser White as my father would like me to point out since I don't have a middle name. I am grateful I will still be a Moser, too.

I won't live with girl roommates but I will live with one husband-roommate. To which I say HALLELUJAH! I mean, I have loved living with girls but, quite frankly, I can't wait to NOT live with girls anymore.

Every time I visit home, it will be with him. I will always have a companion and it will be wonderful.

We will begin our lives together, as a little family of our own. Which will be weird and hard at times I'm sure, but it will be so fun and we will always be together which makes it okay.

My thoughts this Monday, 5 days before I marry Zachary Monroe White and become McKenzie Moser White are... that trials and tasks of life can be daunting but if you have your best friend by your side, holding your hand and hugging you and kissing you and wrapping his arms around your waist and telling you that they love you, then everything will be more than okay. Everything will be grand.

A Crazy kind of Beautiful.

Since my last post in November, life has taken off at a pace that is seemingly too fast for me to keep up with.

Since November I have:

• Made it to and from San Diego for Thanksgiving safely with a full tummy and heart
• Continued dating Zach.

He picked me up from the airport after San Diego and we went to the Utah Capitol building:

• Drove home (and slid off the road but only once!) to California for Christmas break after finals.
• Spent some much needed family time with my favorite people.

• Finally got to bring the man I love and my other favorite person home to meet my favorite people

Here is a picture of us from when he came to California to stay with my family for a week of break, feel free to collectively "awww":

• Made the trek again back to Utah for the new semester
• On January 24, 2014 outside in the freezing cold at the Provo Temple, my best friend and the man I love asked me in the sweetest way possible to marry him. I (obviously) said (shouted, possibly) YES!

• Floated on cloud 9 for what seemed like forever until I realized how many plans there were involved with a wedding and got down to business.
• Shortly thereafter, flew home with Zachary (him+my family/being home=best thing EVER) for my younger brother's, Matt, farewell. Matt, or Elder Moser, is serving a two year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Argentina! He gave an amazing talk and touched many people.
• Flew back out AGAIN to Utah, spent a few wonderful and cherished days with Matt before we dropped him off at the MTC here in Provo.

•  Took our engagement pictures! I love all of them, they are seriously so great but here are a few (or maybe a few more than a few) of my favorites:

  

 

        

• We have registered (here  and here are our registries, in case you're curious), completed some other wedding plans and are now in the process of sending out invitations!
• Amidst all this craziness I decided to train for a half marathon. I know. I am crazy but it has actually been extremely rewarding! This past Saturday Zach and I ran 6 miles! 
• Just this past Saturday, March 29, my wonderful Mother-in-Law to be threw me the loveliest bridal shower complete with yummy brunch, a journal for advice, a jar of date ideas and more. It was so fun and I felt so, so incredibly loved.

I can't believe it is already April 2nd. Do you know what that means? That means I get married... not in two months or even next month BUT THIS MONTH. Zach and I get married THIS MONTH. And THAT is about as crazy beautiful as it gets. 

Library Days.

So, this is Zach. 

Zach and I are dating. I know, lucky me, right?  He is so awesome and great and we have so much fun together. Don't worry though, it isn't all play and no work. Sometimes... Okay, often we find ourselves at the library doing homework/studying together until it closes. Tonight I had no homework and nothing to study for, so I just sat across from him and did things like: Facebook chatted with my BFF/roommate (like we don't get enough of each other already; we are practically becoming the same person), browsed Hailey Devine's blog for probably the majority of the time (what? She's adorable and we love her and her blog is really perfect), Facebook chatted some more with Courtney about Hailey Devine and her perfectness, watched Yahoo! news videos, listened to Iron and Wine, Pinterest, etc. etc. So now you're wondering how this stalker picture came to be. Well, when Zach gets into his math, he falls into what he calls his "math mode". I looked up at him once and saw him doing his math like this and thought it encompassed perfectly his "math mode". 

Anyways, here's to the first (of many) Library Days documentation, my cute boyfriends who makes me happy, late Thursday nights blogging together with my best friend, the nearly-the-weekend excitement, and the knowledge that on Sunday I will be in the beautiful 70 degree weather of San Diego for the week of Thanksgiving surrounded by my family whom I love so dearly.

He knows best.

Often times, life will take us a direction we never thought we would go. A direction that may seem wrong, and definitely feel wrong, at first. I have been taken directions I never even thought existed. Directions that, when I realized the direction I was being taken, have caused me to go kicking and screaming. Today I realized that we really don't have control over things that happen. Sure, sometimes we do. And sometimes we can even control the direction we go, but not always; and sometimes things happen that you never planned for, altering your course completely.
Today is November 19, 2013. If you asked me exactly one year ago today where I would be in one year, I would say without a single doubt I would be on a mission. I was preparing to serve as "Sister Moser" on an 18 month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. On this day last year, I had a plan. Following the announcement in General Conference from our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, in October of 2012, I had it all planned out. I was going to finish the semester, go home for Christmas and complete my papers, work on being my best, turn in my mission papers ASAP (February 8th), shortly thereafter attend the Temple, leave ASAP (June 8th), serve the Lord with all my heart, might and strength, return from "the best 18 months of my life" in December of 2014, come back to school at BYU, find a strapping young gentleman (BYU has quite the abundance), and so on and so on. Obviously, the plan was fool proof. Right? Ha. Yeah, RIGHT. On this day exactly one year ago , I would have no idea that the upcoming events in the months ahead would completely alter my life in ways I would not be able to comprehend.  On this day exactly one year ago, I was running (quite literally, if I might add) out the front door of my dorm to catch the plane that was taking me home for the week of Thanksgiving. On this day exactly one year ago, I said a quick "Happy Thanksgiving!" and shared a brief hug with my roommate Madeline Rose for the very last time. On this day exactly one year ago, I saw my dear friend and roommate for the very last time in this life.
Today was hard. I thought a lot about the goals I had around this time last year and the experiences I had. Following the end of the semester, I was still set on following through with my not-so-foolproof-plan. Madie was a big motivator for me to keep moving forward because I knew she would want me to and I knew that I could best honor her through still serving, because that was her next step too. When I received an answer to my prayers that it would not be the right time for me to serve a mission, I was lost. You know when you're sitting in math class and you feel like the teacher may as well be speaking Icelandic? No...? Oh awkward. Well, I'm terrible at math, so for me that's how I felt. I was doing everything I was listening intently and working my hardest but still feeling so lost. Through prayer and (seemingly forced) patience, I sort of figured it out. It took time... A lot of it; but I got back into the swing of things. The only reason this was possible was because I learned through those experiences that our plan is never going to align perfectly with The Lord's plan. His plan is not only right, but is WAY better than anything we could plan for ourselves. I tried to plan and stick to that plan regardless of what The Lord may have wanted me to do. I was so selfish in only wanting to serve and be an instrument in His hands where and when I wanted to. The Lord has different ideas for me. He let me know my plan wasn't what His plan was for me and I had to learn that. So even though things happen that alter our course and even though it takes time to come around to the new direction you're being taken, even through all the kicking and screaming, the direction The Lord takes you will be the most sure route to happiness. Don't try to control your plan or your direction, let yourself go where you are needed. Let yourself go where The Lord wants you to go.

August.

Oh... Hey there, blog.

Sorry I've been neglecting you so much this past summer, it's been crazy! An update on life is most definitely overdue so here we go...

Summer of 2013 was on of the best I have ever had... Actually it might just be the best summer I have ever had. For once, I wasn't worried about school (or in school like last summer) or AP Summer reading. I just got to work at school.. No but really it was great. After winter semester and completing my first year at BYU, I had the blessing of traveling back to the Golden State for a few weeks shy of two months to be at home. I spent time with family, worked out with my mom and did a whole lot of relaxing. Then when it was time to start sports camps, I went back out to Provo and worked for six weeks straight as a BYU Summer Sports Camp Counselor. As a counselor, not a coach which a lot of people seemed to think I was, I got to hang out with a group of about 10/12 girls varying from ages 12-17 for a week. In the mornings we went to breakfast together and then I dropped them off at practice, thus beginning my day of free time from about 9:00 in the morning util 3:00 in the afternoon (which was heaven, by the way). Then, I would pick them up from practice, take them to dinner, and then depending on the sport I would either take them back to practice and watch them play or have counselor (free) time with them. It was an AWESOME six weeks, to be clear. Yeah, at the end of the week I was a little tired and mostly mentally exhausted from trying to be a fun and energetic counselor but it was so worth it. Definitely something I would love to do next summer too.

When camps ended for me two weeks ago, it was really a bittersweet experience. I made so many great friends and had such a great time with my unique groups of girls, other counselors and it just being an awesome summer that when it ended it was really quite sad. But so sweet at the same time because I was done with the stress of it all too. Anyways, after camps ended I had the BEST opportunity ever to take a road trip from Utah to southern California where we had our family reunion. My grandparents are so cool. I love them so much and love hanging out with them so, as you can imagine, this trip was bliss. We ate good food, took lots of naps and got to spend quality time together. I cherished every moment. When we got to L.A. it was nice to be out of the car but still spending time with them. But what was SUPER awesome was seeing my family when they got to the hotel. I love my family. They really are my best friends and I feel so blessed to enjoy them and their company (and vice versa hopefully). Anyways, the reunion was so fun! I love my Filipino family. They are all so boisterous and loving and funny and just wonderful. The Filipino food is also a nice bonus. After the reunion we flew home into good ol' Oakland International Airport and I am now home, sleeping in my own bed. For a few weeks at least, and then it's back to my other home. Provo. I really do just love it there. I feel so blessed for all the opportunities I have had this summer and can't wait to get back to school.
(Some pictures for your viewing pleasure)

Here.

Just posting real quick to say that I'm still here. A longer post is due very soon but I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still here. I'm just busy as this summer I work here at BYU as a Summer Sports camp counselor.

WHOO! I love it. Kids, free food and housing, sports and guy counselors. Best. Job. Ever. Anyways, that's why I've been MIA. But I'll be back soon with all new stories to tell and a new insight on life.

How to Appreciate the Present.

This morning I read a quote on my Twitter feed that really struck me. It said, "Today is the youngest you'll ever be and the oldest you've ever been. Don't waste it." As much truth as this statement rings out with, it also seems to hold a fair amount of sadness.

Almost 6 short months ago, my beautiful roommate and one of the best friends I had ever come to have was taken early from this life for a mission on the other side that this world will yet come to know. She was 18. On the 20th of this month, Madeline Rose would have turned 19. There are many things Madie taught me, but the most important to me is how to treat others. I never once heard her speak an ill word about anyone, she didn't gossip or speculate. She simply loved. She loved everyone around her and treated each individual person as just that, their own person. She was not only charitable, but genuine in everything she did and every word she said. I had an experience shortly after she died when I was back at BYU after Thanksgiving break where I was so upset and hurt that I didn't even know what to do with myself. As I stood there crying, her accepting face flashed in my mind for just a short moment. But that was all it took. One moment. That moment changed my life to this day and I know it will continue to influence my every act towards other people. In that moment, I decided to love those who I felt I had been wronged by. It may have been a petty reason to become so upset but because it was important to me I know Heavenly Father blessed me with a short moment of Madie coming to me and showing me what it is like to love; But not just to love, in that brief moment she taught me to, in a word, forgive. So when things that aren't worth my attention fight with things that do, I try to remember Madie. I remember that brief moment, but I specifically remember who she was, all the righteousness she stood for and how she loved. I remember the Christ like person she is and the example she remains to be. I encourage you, if anyone actually reads this, to look for an example that makes you want to be better. Find something that makes you want to be better for the sake of becoming the ultimate form of you that you can be.
Above all, if you learn nothing else from this post remember this quote: "Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present."

I miss you everyday, Madeline Rose! But I am comforted by the knowledge of the truthfulness I have about the Plan of Salvation and KNOWING that I will see you again.